Success in Surrender
HI, FRIENDS! I'M SO EXCITED TO TALK TO YOU TODAY ABOUT WHEN THINGS TAKE LONGER THAN WE'D LIKE THEM TO.
It's so easy to look at the goals we're not meeting and think that it means we need to try harder. To strive. To push ourselves even more. But sometimes that's our cue to surrender to God, the Universe, whoever or whatever you believe in as a higher power.
In this episode, we'll talk through learning how to work braver and take creative action, the importance of unplugging with intention, and surrendering control in order to meet your goals in life and in business.
I can't wait for you to hear this and start implementing it!
Listen in on: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google | Stitcher
Discussed in this episode:
Feeling guilt around being a working mom
Owning what works for YOU in your business and re-evaluating your needs often
Learning when to surrender things you're striving toward in your life and business
Working harder vs. working braver
Taking creative action vs. passive action
Learning how to unplug with intention to uplevel your business
Surrendering control to meet your goals
Resources:
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**This is a raw, unedited transcript.**
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Hi friends. I'm so excited to talk to you today about when things take longer than we'd like them to. I was, <laugh> thinking about this morning because with a personal example, but I wanna tie it to business too. But if you are joining me live, please say, Hey, if you're watching the replay, please say, hello to me. We were having just the most lovely Friday as we slide into the weekend. Um, I know summers can be like a little bit wonky as far as schedules and energy and everything. So just you're being so gentle and gracious with yourself on whatever goals you have for your business is summer. I would love for you to share with me in the chat box, what your goals are this summer for your business? Are you selling a program? Are you selling a course? Um, or are you preparing for something this fall?
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Because as you know, I always say like fall success, fall lunches are so made in the summer. What you do with your intention, your visibility behind the scenes, um, which is exactly why two, by the way, next round of, so with heart starts within a little bit less than a little bit more than two weeks. So if you're interested in joining us, feel free to PM me, and I'm happy to get you a link to a free clarity call, but that's why we do so in early July, we start off with a quarterly planning session, right? We do mapping and planning because I do believe, right. Even if you take the summer light, it's so important that the work that you are doing, you're doing with intention, you're doing with heart, you know exactly what you're doing and why you're doing it. Um, so that you can do whatever it is, whether you need to like build your audience, right.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Or do your intention so that your fall outcome can happen. Okay. Today I wanna talk to you about when things take longer than we'd like them to. I have a story <laugh> so many, you guys know I'm a single mama to two beautiful, beautiful, amazing kids. Um, and so for me, I knew I had to find, um, childcare this summer for my kids a little bit less than normal school hours, but I still wanted childcare this summer so that I could, um, keep working. Cause I know for me as a mama, because I spend so much time with my kids, um, when I'm, and this took me a long time to own that I like working, but when I work, I'm a happier mama. It is always gonna be a priority to me while my kids are small to work part-time hours to work about 20 hours a week.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
Right. And there, um, but I know that like when I'm able to work, number one, it brings in money for our family, but also it fulfills me deeply. And I'm a happier, present more patient mom when I'm working and doing things outside of motherhood. That fulfills me. This took me a long time to own actually a podcast episode with my friend, Sarah, where I share with her, my decision to hire a nanny for five hours a week at the start of my business and why that was such like a crisis for me, because I had to own that I was a working mom and it sounds crazy. But even in some of my past careers, I was able to really keep my kids with me a lot. And so I never really owned the identity of being a working mom and or liking work. My mom was a stay at home mom for a lot of my childhood, which I think is fantastic.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
Right. But I carried a lot of like, I don't know, like subconscious guilt around like liking, enjoying work. Um, and I really feel like when I had two kids and I had my business, I was really forced to face the fact that, you know, I first, I, I kind of like multitask my kids for the first chap part of my business, which is fine. Right. But, um, it came to a point where like I realized I was like kind of punching my kids as I was growing my business. What I mean by that is like, if they wouldn't nap, I would be frustrated with them cuz that was my working time. You know what I mean? Instead of realizing like, no, it makes sense to hire a nanny for five hours a week so that my children can be watched in a, with a safe adult.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
And then for the other hours I can be with them. Right. And I can fully be present and not be multitasking. Um, and then obviously like, as they grew and got older and got less dependent on me as I stopped breastfeeding, all those things, like then I had more and more childcare. Right. But I remember just that like season and chapter of really feeling a lot of guilt around liking, working and enjoying working. And so anyway, that's just a bonus story, but I hope that that hits someone and helps someone if you're in that part of negotiating and figuring, and I would say too, like as a mama, this is something we negotiated every chapter and change in our lives. Right. I really try to ask myself for the next three months for the next six months, what do my kids need of me and how can I show up best for them and show what best for myself too.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
Right. Because I think as kids grow, they need different things. And my kids right now probably need different things than they'll need when they're older. Right. And they need different things now than when they were younger. Um, but I remember my, my parents told me like, that's what they did every school year is like really ask God and pray like, okay, what do our kids need this year? And I've really kind of like taken that practice in a different way and asked myself, okay, what do we need for this next year? Where should I put them in school for their, this next year? Right. What should I do for childcare for this next year, for these next three months, whatever it is. Um, and then giving myself permission to do that and go all in on that, right? Like right now I'm working about 20 hours a week, but maybe as my kids grow and become adults, maybe I'll work 40 hours a week.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
I don't know. You know? Um, but it's just giving yourself that flexibility there. And um, in committing to that and owning what works for you, right? A lot of my clients have little babies and so they really do work about five to 10 hours a week. Others of my clients work 40 hours a week, whether they're a mom or not. Right. And so I think it, we really look for the formula instead of looking for within and asking ourselves like, what do I want, how many hours do I want to work personally? What hours do I want to show up for my kids? Because then when you come to your coach, when do you come to your support network, then they know how to support you around that. Right. If my client comes to me and says, Hey, I got five hours this week, help me maximize them. I can be like, great. Let's do it right. If my client comes to me and says, I've got 30 hours this week, I can do that. Right. But
Speaker 2 (05:56):
It really is dependent on you to decide what you want, what you desire. Right. Um, and I think like a fund journaling prompt for this too, if you're struggling on this is like, obviously like money is a factor. Right. But you can even ask yourself if money weren't a factor, how much would I wanna be working? Like what would my dream schedule be? Right. And even if you don't have kids asking yourself, a lot of my clients that don't have kids right. Really struggle with like, do I deserve to like take time off and do these things even yes you do. Right. And so really asking yourself in this next chapter for these next 90 days, how many hours a week do I want to be working? What days of the week do I want those hours to fall? Right. Even more minute than that, like when those hours fall, which of the days do I want to be more like marketing activities, which do I want to be more client calls, which do I want to be sales calls.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Right. I have workbook on this called like my profitable dream week and it really walks you through this, but I think it's so useful to ask yourself, like, what do I most want, um, from the get, go, okay. All that to say, here's my story from today. So I am a working mama. Right. And even in the summer, I have my kids in childcare about, let's see about 20 hours, 25 hours a week. Right. So with that, I, my kids' summer schedule was kind of like up in the air. Right. Because I kind of had to like Hodge Hodge together. They go to a private school. And so the public school district's different. And so like, I was really having a hard time finding like a summer camper or summer, hi, Mina, happy Friday at finding summer childcare. Right. And so I kind of found one solution and then I didn't find another solution.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
And then I kind of had like three weeks of the summer that still wasn't covered for childcare. And if you're a mama, you may have felt this before. Or if you're a dog mama <laugh> right. You're finding do doggy daycare for your Douggie. Like, I really felt like, shoot, what am I gonna do? And I probably had put about eight hours this summer into like researching camps, but it really felt like some of them were like only nine to noon or some of them, like my kids are different ages. So it was only for one or each or the other. Right. And I felt like I was working, working, working, but not getting the result that I wanted. Okay. I'm gonna tie this to business in a minute. So I'd done this a few times this summer and then like really wasn't making traction. Right.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
And then yesterday I put about two more hours into it, Googling and searching for summer camps. Right. And then I got to a place where I felt like in my heart, it started to be a little striving. I started to feel a little desperate. I started to feel a little bit frustrated. I started to feel a little bit like, Ugh, the solution isn't coming, I'm doing all this action and it isn't coming. Have you ever felt like that before in something in your life or business where you feel like I'm doing the work I'm showing up, I'm putting in the effort, I'm giving it my all. And I'm starting to feel desperate, discouraged, frustrated. That's how I started to feel yesterday with this. So I knew that was my cue because I knew that feeling within me. I knew that feeling within me. And I knew at that point, if I kept taking action from the energy, it wasn't gonna be useful.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
So I stopped and I surrendered it. And for me, I'm a big faith person. So for me, I said, okay, God, I need you to figure it out. Like, I feel like I'm doing my part, help me out and need your help for you. If you don't believe it in God, it might be the universe surrendering it to the universe. Right. But I'm a big fan in life in business, really straddling Mike Dooley has this beautiful triangle exercise. I did a blog post and I can share with, with you guys, but it has this beautiful, um, blog put a beautiful analogy of a triangle where you write on one side, your job on the other side, the universe's job. Right. And so for me in the moment, as I was looking for summer childcare for my kids, that was me saying, I did my job.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
Now I'm gonna surrender the rest. And I think that's so useful to do with everything in our business. As we know, what's our job, what's in our control. What can we handle? What can we manage? What can we do? And what are some things that are honestly just be under control right this morning, continuing the story. <laugh> this morning. One of my daughters, friends, moms text me and was like, what are you doing for these months? You know, there's this center up here and basically told me about, um, a childcare situation. That's gonna be literally perfect. Like I could not have planned it anymore. Perfect. And I looked at that text and I said, thank you to that mama. And plus my daughter gets to be with her friend, which she loves. Right. And I was like, that was it. That was the solution. And I really feel like I, it sounds crazy.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
But I feel like in those moments where I have done that surrender, the solution always comes. I feel like God always, always shows that for me in that moment. And especially as a single mama, I feel like I have to surrender and trust God for so much. Right. Because the opposite of that is burning yourself out. Like yesterday I could have, I already Googled for two freaking hours. Right. I could have kept Googling. I could have kept pushing. I could have kept striving. Right. Um, but I think I'm really good at noticing those moments, especially on the way to big goals, especially on the way to big desires. Okay. So let's tie it to you in something that you're working on. Maybe it's like hitting a certain month. Maybe it's like hitting your first 10 K month, right. Maybe it's hitting your first 5k month.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Maybe it's hitting your first 40 K month. Right. Whatever it is, maybe it's fully booking with clients, right? Whatever is that goal and intention, can you do that exercise and ask yourself, what's your job to do on your side of the triangle? Right? Maybe if it is getting fully book of clients, right. Maybe it is showing up visibly three times a week on Instagram or whatever platform you're using. Right. Um, maybe it is pitching sales calls, right. Are you doing your actions? And are you surrendering the rest? For example, something you might need to surrender is like, who sees your social media content? Like we can't control that. Right. We cannot control if our sales calls convert or not. Which sounds crazy cuz you know that I coach on sales. Right. But at the end of the day, all we can do is show up to a call, give our best show up with heart, with honesty, with integrity, with intention, with fire, and then trust that the right people are gonna sign and the right people aren't right.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
We can't control who signs up to our programs and who does it. Right. So I think that was just such a reminder for me. And what I wanted to talk to you about today was that tension, right? So I just had this like gut feeling that I like needed to share this story. And so if some of you guys are frustrated on the way to meeting your big goals, right? If some of your big goals are taking longer, then you'd like them to, this message is for you. Right. I kind of wrote a few words around this, right? So this is like this duality between effort and waiting work and surrender intention and trust. I did something on Instagram stories this week too, that talked about independence versus dependence, right? And both of these things are so important. It's so important that we do both.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Right. But I find often as heart centered women, if you're like me often we'll err, on the side of the effort of the work of the intention of the independence and the muscle we really need to flex, ironically is the weighting, the surrender, the trust, the dependence, right? Because at the end of the day, and this is why so many of my clients are able to get such amazing results in such a few short amount of time is because your effort, your work, your intention does not have to be crazy. It does not have to, you don't have to work a lot of hours. You just have to work potent. Right? Did an Instagram post on this too, where we, I really talked about working as you grow your business, you don't really need to work harder. In fact, it kind of gets easier in some ways, but you do have to work braver.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
Right? What do I mean by that? Right? Maybe instead of like spending two hours researching and call a business, not trying to call you out, but maybe I am. Instead of spending two hours online researching you spend 10 minutes writing a really heartfelt post and you actually post it on social media. Right? That's the difference, right? The brave work, usually instead of spending an hour, cleaning your email inbox, it's spending 15 minutes to send that one pitch email, right? Often our brave actions are money. Making actions are marketing and sales type actions. Right. But it's really getting clear on, are you doing your part or are you avoiding it? Right. And that's okay. Like I think it's like giving yourself credit. Like this is for your work. Entrepreneurship is not for the faint of heart. Right? Entrepreneurship is vulnerable is challenging. We had an amazing conversation in the south mastermind last week around what is entrepreneurship?
Speaker 2 (14:37):
Who do you think is born? Is someone born to be an entrepreneur, the whole like nature versus nurture thing. And I really feel like the consensus of so many women in the mastermind was it, isn't something you're born with. It's something you decide. It's something you choose. It's if you're willing to be resilient, if you're willing to stick in there, right. I'm obsessed with the podcast. How I built this, it's a bunch of like founder stories of entrepreneurship and businesses. And all of the stories are like my first seven businesses failed. I was in a te debt. I had banquets. Like it's like, I think we think we see these Polish shiny stories and we forget that there is so normal to struggle. It's normal to be challenged. Right. And that's why so much I love sell with heart mastermind is because you're able to see behind the scenes, not just the shiny of other women that have successful profitable businesses, that it's not all like roses and sunshine all the time.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Right. And you don't make yourself wrong for that. Right. Um, okay. So back to that entrepreneurship conversation, I really feel like, you know, and you, maybe you are even thinking this lately, right? Am I born to be an entrepreneur? Was I made for this? Right. I really feel like at the end of the day, everyone has it in then to be an entrepreneur. It's just a choice. <laugh> if you're willing to stick in there, if you have the grit, if you have the resilience, if you have the desire, right. Um, to, to go at it and do it on your own and believe and do the mindset work and believe that your success is inevitable, believe that you're gonna figure it out. Be willing, being willing to stick it in there. Being willing to take massive shifts, right. Being willing to put your, I mean, it's just entrepreneurship is the biggest like ego sacrifice in the world, right.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Being willing to fail, right. Being willing to be wrong, right. Being willing to make mistakes. And the beautiful thing is I feel like entrepreneurship makes you a better human too. I feel like for sure entrepreneurship has made me a better mama. <laugh> right. A better woman. Um, but it, it is refining, it's a fire. Entrepreneurship is a fire. And so for those of you that are willing to like be in there and stick in there and like Brene brown says like be in the arena, I'm just giving you the biggest high five and biggest virtual hug. Especially if it's been a hard week. Like just imagine for a minute, like us, or maybe even someone that you loved, like just embracing you. Right. And I think this is where we need to like speak to our like inner little girl and tell her like, I am so proud of you.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
What would you say? Why don't you even like, pause this right now? And like, say for a minute or even journal and brainstorm out? Like, what would you say to your inner little girl? What would you say to your 12 year old from where you are right now? You know, I think so often our brain looks for the negative where we're like screwing up what we've, what we were we've yet to come. Right. Instead of how far we've come, how far you've come, how proud are you of yourself? Right. For doing the path that most people don't do. That's okay. Not everyone has to do entrepreneurship. I'm not, I don't feel like entrepreneurship is like better than a day job. Right. But I do feel like entrepreneurship is the braver harder riskier choice. And so if that is your choice giving you credit, right. For being an entrepreneur, can you even own that?
Speaker 2 (17:49):
Like I'm an entrepreneur and I'm so proud of myself. Right. Okay. So let me do this exercise and then let get back to talking about when things take longer than we'd like them to too in that surrender piece. But like, I just wanna do this exercise in front of you for a minute. I haven't like really planned this, but I think this will be useful. Right. I'm gonna model like what I would say to my 12 year old girl, <laugh> my 12 year old Anna. And I would love for you to do this exercise two and share it with me, whether it's via email or DM. Right. But give yourself permission to either record on your phone, on the audio app or write it out, but write that message. Write, write it and um, just spend some time deciding. Okay. So if I were to, um, excuse me, if I were to talk to my 12 year old girl, I would say I'm so proud of you, right?
Speaker 2 (18:41):
As a 12 year old, like in my early years I did a lot of, um, creative projects. I did a lot of creative writing. Right. But it kind of looked like, like I remember I made, like I called it like friendship magazine and I would like compile stories from my friends and I would have my mom take me to office Depot and I would, um, on, do you remember office Depot who remembers office Depot, but I don't know if they still open, but I would ha I would pick the, the light purple violet paper. And I would have her print off copies of friendship magazine that I would make, cuz I had moved elementary school. So all my friends were kind of splintered apart and I would put them in Manila envelopes and shift them up to my friends later. I had another iteration called Anna times and it was a newspaper.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
<laugh> a little newspaper with like, do you remember like Microsoft word used to have like templates? There was like a newspaper template. So I would write articles. Um, and I, my, I sold my sister advertising space and Anna times I think she paid 50 cents to sell her like little like rains sticks made of like toilet paper tubes. Anyway, I digress. But I, I think I would tell that little Anna that I am, I'm really proud of her. Right. That like all those little tiny ventures and dreams and desires and like all the creativity that I had as a child, like I really didn't have any template for entrepreneurship. Like my parents were an entrepreneurs, you know? And like, I feel like I really like when I made that like crux decision to quit my job when I was pregnant with my daughter, like I really felt like I, I, I wasn't quite sure if it was the right decision, but it was my best guess.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
I remember feeling that too at my divorce. Right. Like given it my all, you know, I'm burnt out like this is it. Like, I feel like any big decision, I try to get myself to 90%. Right. Cause I'm a very deep, intentional thinker. And then once I'm at 90% I like pull the trigger. Right. And I think like I'm really proud of the Anna that decided to pull the trigger and do entrepreneurship and the Anna that decided to continue again and again and again, when things were hard, when programs didn't sell, when things didn't look like they were working when a client was frustrated, like when those, like those little things happen, you know? Um, and I just wanna tell like my 12 year old girl that like you are going to surpass your wildest dreams. Like not in maybe some of the ways that you think I didn't really have a career aspiration as a child.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Like I didn't really ever say like, I wanna be a teacher. I wanna be a doctor, you know? But I think I knew I wanted to like to, to help people. Right. Which is probably why I ended up choosing mental health therapy for my career. But I think I would tell her that like, I'm, I'm proud of you and you did it. And also like, even if you didn't, I would still be proud of you. Right. Um, I think I I'm really blessed in that. Like I grew up in a home where there was like a lot of love and acceptance, but I know for my clients where there wasn't that like unconditional loving environment, you really have to work harder. Right. To come to that place of love and acceptance. Okay. Going back to when things take longer than we'd like them to. Right.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
Um, I, I touched on this a little bit, but I wanna talk a little bit about creative action versus passive action. I hinted on this a little bit when I talked about making sure that the actions that you are doing are like potent actions. Right. So that when you do surrender, when you do unplug from your business, when you aren't working, you know, that the actions that you took were good enough. Right. You've heard me talk about this before, too. But like I think it can get dangerous when we start celebrating our outcomes more than we celebrate our action. Right. So for me, for example, like when I'm in the middle of a launch, right. I have little things that I do, right. Like I wanna post on stories. I wanna send some invites. Right. I try to check off those metrics. Right. And really intentionally choose those metrics.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Again, those metrics aren't like empty my email inbox. Right. Those metrics are pitch. People, show up, sell. Right. And then once I do those metrics, I celebrate myself and I feel satisfied and I feel content because I feel like I did my part. I feel like I did my job. And then I really feel like I can surrender the rest of God or the universe. Right. So creative action versus passive action. Right? Creative action are those actions that you feel vulnerable and or scared to do. Right? Creative action is you putting yourself out there, you putting your heart out there. It might look like writing a heartfelt social media post. It might look like being live. Like it often looks like visibility, whether it's public visibility or private visibility, right. Doing like private pitches or public pitches. Right. Often these actions are sales type actions.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
And I think it can be fun to look at them as creative action. Because I feel like when we put ourselves out there on social media, in the Innerwebs right, it can feel vulnerable. And I think we make it wrong. Instead of being like, of course this feels vulnerable because this is my creativity. Right. For those of you that are like design designers, like website designers, for example, when you do your work with your client, when you design a website, when you design a logo, that's a creative artwork, that's a creative piece of art. Right. So of course it's gonna feel vulnerable cuz you're like putting your art out there on display for the world to see. Right. Same thing. When you were getting visible, as you were doing a training, that's a piece of art. Right? Of course it's gonna be a little bit imperfect.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
All art is different and unique. Right. Every brushstroke is gonna have some imperfection in it. And so I think like really thinking about it as creative action, money making action is useful because then you don't expect it to be perfect. You expect it to be vulnerable and that's okay. Right. And I think as you grow your business really challenging yourself, how do I get braver and braver in my creative action. Right. And then, and obviously the passive of action is fine. It's fine to learn. It's fine to clear your email inbox. Right. But just making sure that you are maximizing, especially during your high energy times. Right. So maybe in the morning, maybe when your kids are at the babysitter, right. You are doing those creative actions when you have the most time. Um, let's see. Did I still wanna say anything else? Um, doing those creative actions, right?
Speaker 2 (24:49):
That way, when you unplug, for example, tonight, I'm super excited. I am going to do a massage and facial, but I know I'm gonna enjoy that massage and facial because I know I'm gonna do my most potent marketing actions. And then when I unplug and unwind for my business, I really feel like I can show up and hang out with my kids, guilt free. I feel like I can show up with that massage and, and feel good about it. Not that we have to work to feel good. Right. But I do think it's useful to make sure that your actions are potent that way. You're not thinking about your business when you're not working. Right. You know, I did my part, I did my metrics, I did my tasks. And now my job is actually to not think about work. My job is to actually unplug my job is to unwind.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
My job is to not check social media. Right. So that when you come back to it, your energy is potent and not drained. Right. And really seeing the fun you have, the money you spend, the life that you live enjoying your actual life as the money making action. Right. As that mindset. Cause I know for me, kind of like as a mom, when I'm fulfilled as a mama, when I'm fueled as a mama, uh, like in my personal life, I'm a more patient mom. Right? Same thing with my business. Right. When I feel like I am able to unplug from my business, right. When I come back to it, I've got excitement. I've got energy, I've got an idea. Right. But if your notifications are on, on your phone, if you are checking your email 24 7, right. If you are always thinking about marketing clients, right then of course work is gonna feel like there's no certain stop.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
It's gonna feel like there's no end. It's gonna feel like draining and exhausting. And so there's never a fresh energy. And so really remind yourself and tell yourself, the time you spend unplugged from your business is important is for your business is fueling, is a money making action, right? Unplugging with intention, really for me, makes me a ton of money. Right. I really tie as I do my money mindset work too. I really tie to like the happier I am, the more money I make. Right. It's safe to spend money on myself. It's safe to spend money on my happiness. Right. Um, okay. Let's see. Anything else on that part? Um, so fully doing your actions, right? And I will maybe even ask yourself, which do I need to do better at making the time I spend in my business more potent or making the time I don't spend in my business more refreshing.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
Right. Otherwise what happens is like the, the actions that you're doing, aren't potent and aren't really working or aren't really brave actions or kind of just stalling you out. It's that feeling? I feel like I'm always working and nothing's going no, anywhere. I feel like I'm spinning my wheels. Right. Or what happens is we don't have free time. We don't have time to unplug. We don't have time to refresh. Right. So maybe put your hand on your heart and ask yourself, which do I need more of in the season to be more intentional with my work or to be more unplugged when I'm unplugged. And of course we need both, but I really feel like it's useful to ask yourself, like, what's the bigger intention because when you do one, the other one will happen. Right. If you're more intentional and potent about your work hours, you're gonna be a little more exhausted more quickly, and then you're gonna need to unwind.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
Right? If you unwind and unplug with intention, when you come back to work, you're gonna have fresh energy and you're gonna be excited. Right. So I think they're so intertwined, but just pick one to focus on right now, which makes more sense for you. Um, okay. My loves the one final point I wanna say on this is around goals and another conversation around like, if things are taking longer than you'd want to them to is to really ask yourself, are your goals appropriate? What I mean by that <laugh> is based on what they are. Sometimes I encourage my clients to make their goals smaller or bigger. Right? If your goal is so big, you've probably heard me say this before. Right? That it feels so out of reach and so debilitating, you may not even be taking action to it. We need it to make, to feel somewhat realistic.
Speaker 2 (28:45):
Your goal. Right. I'm gonna talk about this when we do the income ceiling breakthrough challenge too. Right. But the goal of your income ceiling breakthrough is that you break through your current income ceiling, right? So if your highest month to date was eight K your job is to hit a nine K month, right? If your highest month, today was three K, your job is to hit the 4k month, right? If your highest month, today was 20 K, your job is to hit the 22 K month. Right. Your're just breaking your own ceiling. I remember I moved, I think I moved one of my client's goals. It was, she was trying to hit seven K months, but she hadn't yet hit like a, a 5k month. Right. I think she was like at 4k. So I really encouraged her to make her income goal 5k to really break through that.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
Right. And she was like, that's scarier though, because it's more realistic. And I feel like I could actually do it. Right. We, so sometimes we need to make our goals smaller so that they're more doable. Right. I also sometimes think we like sabotage our goal by like moving it right before we hit it, instead of letting ourselves hit it and celebrate that. Right. The other thing is sometimes you need to make your goal bigger. Your goal may not excite you. Right. Is your goal big enough where it's a challenge where it's a stretch where it's exciting. Cause I think as entrepreneurs, the reason we got into this is because we like the challenge. We like the, the dry, we like that to be fueled. Right. We don't wanna work for someone else. We wanna work for ourselves and we want to, um, like have that freedom.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
We wanna have that challenge. We wanna have that like carrot in front of us. Right? Okay. Hope this was useful. As you are thinking through this and just sending you the biggest hug, sending you the biggest hug as you are navigating, whatever challenges you're coming, your way, you are not alone. Um, and just wanna tell you, I feel like this message is for you. You're in the right place. You're in the right place. Things are happening at the perfect time for you. You can trust yourself. You can trust your path. You can trust your journey. Even if it feels like other people are moving slower than you faster than you for a minute. Like, just imagine put blinders on your eyes. Kinda like a horse when they put like those little blinders on the side so that they horses don't get distracted, put some blinders up.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
Maybe that means you need to unsubscribe from some emails or unfollow some people on social, but what blinders do you need to put up so that you can stay focused on your path? Right? Cause even the phrase, things taking longer than you'd like it to is so subjective. Right? Because there is no one right path, right? There's no one, like we say like, oh, this is taking longer than I wanted it to probably as compared to someone else or often what I see women do comparing themselves to a past version of them. Right. Maybe before you had kids or before you had a chronic illness or whatever. Right. Instead of like, there is no taking too long. And when we release that, when we surrender the timeline, here's the thing. Right? So often we plan for like, what if I don't meet the goal? Or what if the goal takes longer than I expect to?
Speaker 2 (31:42):
But what if you surpass your goal? What if it happens even faster than you think? Right. And it sounds so crazy. Right. But when we surrender that timeline and you get locked in on meeting the goal, right? Whatever it is, like fill in your group group program with 20 people, right. Or hitting your first 10 K month or your first 40 K month. Right. When we stay locked in on that goal. And we release the timeline when we surrender, even though we want it to happen yesterday. Right. <laugh> when we surrender that timeline, it happens faster. And I know that's so irritating. Right. But I think we do this thing where like, if I I'm gonna hit 10 K this month and if I don't, then I'm gonna quit. Right. Instead of like, no, I'm gonna keep working at it until I hit 10 K period.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
End of story. I'm gonna keep going and I'm gonna figure it out and I'm gonna shift and I'm gonna innovate when we have that energy of like, mm that's okay. Like if the launch doesn't work this time, I'm just gonna launch again. Right. I always tell my clients, like, as they're launching courses, can you get locked in on, this is your million dollar course, right? Not like I'm gonna launch this course one time. And then if no one signs up, then I'm like never gonna launch a course again, instead of like, no, this is my million dollar course. Whether two people buy it this time or 12 people buy it this time, I don't care because it's out there and I'm just gonna keep her launching it and I'm just gonna keep getting better. And I'm just gonna keep filling it with more and more people, right.
Speaker 2 (32:58):
When we're locked in on like, mm, no, this is gonna work. Or, you know, that affirmation that I did at the start of my business, that so served me, which is my success is inevitable. Right. When we get that, not only do your goals happen faster, but you start surpassing your goals. Right. I think I told you the story. I was working for a really long time on like finally crossing the like 20 K month threshold. Right. And then I can't remember what it was, but I was like, I wasn't hitting it. And then finally I like went way past it. I think it was like 28 K or something like that. Right. And I see that to my clients a lot of times when they have an income goal. Right. And so it's giving yourself permission. Like we think we want that thing so bad, but open yourself up to two things.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
Number one, it happening faster or longer than your timeline. We're such like control freaks. Right? Maybe I can talk for myself. Right. What if something, when we release the timeline, that means letting it take longer if it needs to and not making yourself wrong, but also means letting it happen faster, right? Like, can you be willing to, we, we don't wanna surrender control because we don't wanna like fail often. Right. But remembering surrender and control means that you may fail on the way, but it also means that you succeed way faster than you thought, right. That it happens faster that you make more money. And we think that we want that. But sometimes I think we don't because we're so tied to that piece of control. Right. Instead of really trusting yourself and letting go of that timeline. Right. So I want you to even tell yourself right now, what's that goal you're working on right now, whether it's a certain income month, whether it's a certain amount of clients, um, what's that goal that you're working on.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
What's that number you're moving towards. And can you release the timeline? Can you, I remember at the start of my business, when I was fully booking for the first time I remember telling God I'm gonna do this until I get fully booked. I hope that this happens before I go on maternity leave and I have a baby. Right. But I'm gonna do this until I figure out how to make it work. Like really showing up with the energy of like, I don't care if it takes five years to build my coaching business, cuz I'm gonna figure it out. Right. And I feel like that's what helped it happen. So fast is I was like when and the, the reason that this works right is because then when little things come up little roadblocks, which of course they do little baby failures. You're not like, oh, that's a sign.
Speaker 2 (35:12):
I need to change everything. I need to second, guess everything. I need to spiral and spin for four days, you know, I need to, um, change my whole business. I need to quit business. Wasn't made for me. Right. Instead of like, okay, there's a roadblock, there's a failure. There's an issue. Let me solve that and get on my Merry way. Cuz this is mine. Right. Does that make sense? Right. Why, how that mindset makes such a big difference. Right. Um, okay. How do you know why I digressed to that? Oh, um, but oh I think it was just like giving yourself permission right? To when things take longer, really ask yourself, why am I telling it this myself, the story that is taking longer. Right. And affirming for yourself, I'm at the right place. This is my perfect time. I'm on the path. I'm on no one's path.
Speaker 2 (35:55):
But me I'm trying to PR right. I'm trying to PR because really at the end of the day, right. Comparing yourself to others is gonna hold you back because you are gonna fly past some sister. Right. It is time to start playing it bigger. It is time to expand. It is time to start playing in the big leagues. And you're only gonna do that if you put on your blinders, right. If you can literally imagine putting on those blinders, cuz right now it feels like people are ahead of you. Right. But eventually it'll feel like people are behind you and we still want those blinders on. It's just like, what's that phrase? I think, I can't remember who said it, but it was just really good. And I talked about like, people try not to take positive, um, affirmation too seriously from others because then when it becomes negative, then you take it seriously too. Right. It's that same thing other people are ahead or behind or like it doesn't really matter. All that matters is your patent that you're headed to the right direction. Okay. My Love's happy Friday.
PS: In the midst of this challenging time I’ve been asking myself what I can do to help? One of the #1 ways I support my clients is by helping them simplify their business so that they can increase the flow of money without creating extra work. In this season simplified visibility and sales is needed more than ever.
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