Moving from Burnout to Bliss with Edi Houldieson
Episode Summary:
Today on the podcast I have one of my amazing clients Edi Houldieson. Maybe you're like me and you grew up religious. I still consider myself very faith-oriented, spiritual, and connected with God. But there are a lot of things from my religious background that I don't resonate with anymore and it's just messy. So if you are similar to me and are deconstructing what it means to have a relationship with God or your higher power, I hope this is a time where you can just be held and feel safe to explore.
Topics Discussed:
The best parts of reconstruction and realignment with faith
Turning point moments in Edi's faith journey
The most common areas of freedom on a faith journey
Understand the death and rebirth cycles in life
The value of listening to your body
Reframing money from a negative into the altruistic, beautiful parts of life
Moving from burnout to bliss
Episode Resources:
Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google | Stitcher
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Anna (00:03):
Hi, friends. I'm so excited to have Ededie Holon on the podcast today. Um, ededie is a amazing client of mine, and I remember when you signed up, I have this feeling about all my clients, like when they sign up, I'm like, oh my gosh, they seem like such an amazing human. And I will say that now that I've gotten to know Ededie a little bit more behind the scenes, like her heart and her integrity, and it's just so beautiful to see how you worked and shown up for your business behind the scenes and the passion you have. Like I can just say you're the real deal <laugh>, which just don't like when you see football online, you're like, are they that amazing? Yeah. Like, yes, ededie, you just have such a beautiful heart and just integrity. Um, and so I'm so excited for you to share about your message. I know when I read your content online, I really resonate with it because of my background. But I would just love for you to start by telling us a little bit about who you are and what you're about.
Edi (00:55):
Thank you so much, Anna. And yes, the feeling is deeply mutual. I've been like lurking, um, for like over a year, even before I started my coaching practice. Um, so it's so fun to be in your orbit now. So thank you so much for having me. Um, so yes, I'm Ededie, I'm the identity alchemist. And my delight, my joy is helping recovering good girls, um, move from burnout to bliss by becoming the version of themselves that's free of fear, dogma, and the achy that go along with both. Sometimes I say stuff depends on the <laugh> audience, but I think we're all big girls here. And so where this really came from was my own experience of, um, being in, um, a spiritual community that, um, on one hand, uh, I forged so many beautiful relationships, and on, on the other hand was very damaging and, um, had a lot of, uh, for lack of better word, truly trauma coming from that and really took on that good girl persona.
Edi (01:48):
And so the good girl is the perfectionistic woman, the woman who is a rule follower, who is monitoring the room for everybody's emotions and making sure she is seeking, um, you know, managing these emotions or creating the illusion of trying to manage these emotions, right? We know that we can't actually. And, um, that of course is a very fragmenting place where you end up in burnout. And that's where I reached. Um, and I remember just being in a space of like, if this is what is required of me, I can't do this anymore. I can't live this life anymore. And I know there's something bigger than me. I know there's more than what meets the eye, but what I have been told, um, I need to do to connect with this bigger than life thing is killing me. And that was probably the scariest moment of my life, truly, and the most freeing moment of my life because it allowed me to, um, unwind all of these narratives and begin to my own my spiritual journey.
Edi (02:43):
Um, and, uh, I, big thing I talk about is spirit and in truth, getting below the surface and truly, um, exploring what is underneath the surface of me and others. And, um, of all of these sacred texts we read and all these different things we engage in, and also in truth, also in the truth of what do I actually believe? Not just what I've been told, but like, 'cause so often there's things we believe that we should believe, but really the truth was in within resonates d differently. And so honoring that, acknowledging that, and, um, just developing a spiritual practice out of that and now seeking to help other women do the same and in that find their bliss and their peace and their joy again, um, still with connecting to that thing greater than us.
Anna (03:26):
That is so beautiful. And I just hope this is a 30 minute coffee chat if you're listening to the podcast. And maybe, like me, I grew up fairly religious and I still consider myself very faith oriented. Yeah. Very spiritual, very connected with God I pray every day, right? But also, I feel like there's a lot of things from my conservative Christian background that I don't resonate with anymore, and it's just messy, you know? And so I hope that if you are similar to me and maybe you have had a faith background and you're deconstructing or renegotiating what it means to have a relationship with source or God or your higher power, I hope this is just a time where you can be held and it's yes, a safe place to explore. How do you let go of the things that don't serve you? Mm-Hmm. But still keep that for me. My faith provides so much stability. Yeah. So much presence, so much calmness. And so it's just complicated, right?
Edi (04:23):
Yeah. <laugh>. Yeah. Yeah. So true. I love that. And I love you reiterating that safe place because you can be a very isolating journey, right? Um, especially because we often have communities built around the shared faith and the shared expression of our faith in this way. And so that's, that's so key on this journey, is having that place where you can come as you are and say, you know, this is what I, I think I believe I, I don't know if I want keep on believing this, um, or I want to believe the same, this aspect of what I've been taught, but I don't. And, and having that space where, um, there's no condemnation, there's no judgment, just like you said, just being held, holding big space. So I love that. I love that.
Anna (05:05):
So good. Okay. Tell me, I'm just curious from my view, like what were some of the, like, actually let's do after and then before like <laugh>, what would you say is now that you've gone through some of the wrestling of renegotiating your relationship with God and all of that, like what would you say are some of the favorite parts about your life now that you've done the work and realigned that?
Edi (05:27):
Yeah. Yes. So, um, I also am from a Christian background, still very much hold that dearly. Um, and one of the biggest things is the beauty I find in scripture now. Um, in a lot of ways it's been weaponized and especially as women, there are so many passages that have done, oh, the harm, you know, just, I don't wanna say irreparable 'cause I don't believe every anything's irreparable, but seemingly irreparable harm to precious souls. And so now just me, uh, part of my journey was, um, like, um, the teachings of Jesus are central to, to my belief and really examining them for what he actually said and realizing like, oh my goodness, like we add so much. Like if you talk to most people, very few people have a problem with Jesus. It's <laugh> all the extra stuff that is put around him and the extra stuff that we do. And so I think just being able to reengage in the scripture and what, like, wow, it's nourishing. It's not this thing that I feel guilty for not reading. It's not this thing that I'm reading and bludgeoning myself with, but it's, it's a nourishing love letter that that really just fulfills me to the depths. And from that also is just,
Anna (06:31):
Um,
Edi (06:32):
The actual peace and love and joy and freedom that I parroted for so long, but was not experiencing, I'm experiencing now. And it's just stretching into the horizon. And a big thing, one of my pet peeves, <laugh>, is the emphasis on the afterlife. Not that I don't believe in an afterlife. I think we're so expansive and beautiful, like I can't imagine that coming to an end. But just the whole idea that we are living a crappy life now in hope of hopes of a better life later. I'm like, I'm getting it all. I'm taking the greatness now and then. And um, that has been such a beautiful journey, uh, for me. And, um, yeah, so I think that's also one of the beautiful things. Like I'm not ashamed to say I want more. I'm not ashamed to say I want bliss. And and that is also just seeing other women say that because when we just say yes to bliss and yes to, um, all the abundance that's in store of us, in store for us, inevitably everybody around us gets the overflow and the spillover, you know what I'm saying? Like, when we are operating in love and joy and peace and abundance, everybody else wins too. So it's not like it's, it's still so fun how, um, yeah. In, in wanting more in seizing all that's available, we are like elevating and bringing more to this, to this earth.
Anna (07:51):
It's so true. I it's so true. Like right there is so much teaching around, like, I remember like people around me saying things like insinuating like, okay, we have to like suffer through this life basically to get to heaven, right? Yeah. Or like, you know, this is, this life is temporary, right? Yep. And then like, and you're like, what a discouraging mindset that we have to live all 80 years, like just in suffering and misery and you know, it is just so interesting. So how some of those not just like teaching, not just teachings from scripture, but also like, I think, um, almost like cultural beliefs. Like it's sort hard to sort out like how much is our faith and how much is Jesus is how much is scripture and how much is like western white Yep. Culture or like, or whatever country you're from, right? Right. Like how much is, and I think it's just so convoluted too. I feel like when I was reckoning with my faith, like it's hard because a lot, I love my parents, I'm still very close to my parents. And so it's sorting out like, you know, what is family culture? Like, what is, hold on a second. Sorry, someone's ringing my doorbell.
Edi (09:00):
<laugh>,
Anna (09:28):
Why do you have to sell me things right now? No. Anyway, <laugh>, um, okay, sorry Hailey. We actually have to edit this podcast, Hailey is my fault. Um, yeah. Okay. Anyway, I don't remember what we were saying. The
Edi (09:38):
Cultural parsing out cultural from family. Yes.
Anna (09:41):
Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> like figuring out like what is faith and what is my culture and what is family of origin stuff? And like how do I, you know, I had my therapist tell me this thing one time that blew my mind, which is Anna, like our brains are conditioned to want belonging and inclusion just like we are food and shelter, right? Mm-Hmm. So when we feel like we might be ostracized from our group or our family or our faith community, right? Like that same part in our brain lights up as if we aren't gonna get food, like survival, right? Yeah. So I just think for me it was just so complex to sort out like, I don't wanna be like, you're right. It's not just faith, it's community and it's just all very complex.
Edi (10:27):
Yeah. I love that. And can I ask, um, what was your catalyst for that journey?
Anna (10:34):
Oh man. I think like, there's like a few things. Like growing up, like I had some nudges of like, I was very much good girl and I still am to this day. <laugh> Yes. But like just little nudges of like, that doesn't seem like it should be true. Right? Or like, mm, really. Or like, I remember like googling things when I was little, like, yeah. And I remember I got in trouble one time for one of the things I Googled, but like, I was just very curious. And, but I think I got to a point, honestly, probably most of my reckoning came during my divorce because, you know, I was in a marriage that I tried to make work for 10 years very, very hard. And I don't regret trying to make it work, but probably tried to make it work for five years more than I should have, like binging my head against the wall.
Anna (11:17):
But a big thing that kept me in the marriage was I didn't wanna disobey the scripture Exactly. I didn't wanna dis uh, upset my family, upset my faith community, like let everyone down when it was so clear that, I mean, it was so clear that for many reasons that was the right decision for me. Yes. But I think in that process I was having to be brave and take a stand and trust my heart and trust God yes. That it was okay for me to get a divorce. Yeah. And so I think in that I really had to ignore all the other voices except for God's and mind and be like, before God I feel aligned with this decision. And obviously like I talked with a lot of people too. Yeah. But I think in that process, like it just helped me be braver about other things.
Anna (12:01):
Like I decided like when my kids are very young, to like stop spanking and that was a huge deal, like in our faith community. Like you had to spank or else you were like the most pagan person, you know? Yeah. <laugh>. And so like that was a huge deal when I didn't spank my kids and then all the other things. But I think like, it's really not, in my mind, these felt like life or death. Like when I decided not to spank, when I decided to divorce, it felt like death. Like it felt like my life was over because I was that scared of upsetting people, losing my community, doing the wrong thing. Just, it was very challenging. Yeah.
Edi (12:41):
Oh, I hear you. And oh, some things that you said stuck out to me, one that's like getting in the weeds, but I just wanna mention it in case somebody's listening that this could bring them freedom. Like that passage about divorce, it's interesting 'cause that word divorce is not about legal proceedings, it's about the breakdown of a relationship and the, the legal per 'cause There's the passage, I don't know verbatim, but Jesus actually separates out, you know, Moses said that you can, you can give a certificate of divorce, but I tell you not to divorce, I tell you not to have the breakdown. And so the divorce occurred when one partner said, I'm no longer putting in the work. Yeah. The, the, you know, the divorce happened when one partner broke that covenant and, uh, cheated or financial infidelity, whatever, you know what I'm saying? And so it's so hard though 'cause that one scripture and the, the, the loophole is held over our heads when it's like, no, the, the divorce happened. I, you know, the breakdown happened. So I just wanted to throw that out there that like Yeah, yeah. If you're concerned about the divorce, chances are you are not the partner who is actually divorcing. Does that make sense? Like Yeah, a hundred
Anna (13:40):
Percent. Exactly. Or even with the spank thing, like the scripture that talks about that and like talks about like spare the rod spoil Exactly. Is really like a shepherd's rod that shepherds don't use to beat their children. They use the rod to like move and teach their chi like to guide. And so I had heard a parenting expert, she's actually a different faith, but she's like a faith-based parenting expert. And she talked about like, we should be teaching our children not be abusing our children. And so I think sometimes we need yes. Someone to like be like, oh yeah, that makes sense, right, right.
Edi (14:15):
Like
Anna (14:15):
That I align with that and it was aligning with my heart all along. Right.
Edi (14:19):
Exactly. Exactly. And that's the beautiful thing about this journey is that when we start unraveling things, we realize that it, it was there all along and that that cognitive dissonance was from the pieces that were not aligned and were not even the original intent, you know? And I hear you totally with that spare the rod. I just had a conversation with somebody about that, um, and spanking and stuff. And uh, I just kudos to you for it. 'cause I know that's, yeah, that's hard. <laugh> parenting every, with, with kiddos. Your parenting is on display for everybody, you know? And so kudos to you for that. And I, and I, and I love that and I love that for you, that how the journey has just taken you here and this, the freedom and the joy you can see even when you're dancing bachata and just that light in you.
Edi (15:02):
And that's what happens, right? When we choose to believe that we can experience heaven on earth and experience the bliss, and we, like, we, um, make note of we alchemize, we, uh, work through anything that doesn't align with that. And that is, is misaligned. And so, um, that's one thing I wanna mention as well is that oftentimes we are taught to shove our desires to the side or that like our peace doesn't matter. Um, our joy. Like, it's nice if we're peaceful, it's nice if we have joy, but like, it's not required. But like, there's literally a passage of scripture that says God requires that we believe that he wants to bless us. Like we, he requires that we must believe that we are to have a blissful life. And anything that is not aligned, like is, um, a flag telling us to look at it. Of course, this life is not perfect and let's not start from that place. You know what I'm saying? Let's start from the place of assuming heaven on earth and then accepting the little fallen places. But like, there's just so much available to us, and especially as women, we start from that. Like, I'll take what I can get, you know, but no, no, no, like sisters, like, let's start from this place up here. Everybody wins when we do, everybody wins. So, yeah.
Anna (16:13):
That is so beautiful. Oh, you're making me cry, <laugh>. Um, tell me what, like, were there any beliefs that you feel like you had to shed or release or any turning point moments for you that felt significant in your journey?
Edi (16:26):
Yeah, that's really good. Um,
Edi (16:34):
Okay. Uh, one of the biggest things I had to grapple with was what is the kingdom? So when we look at Jesus' words, he didn't say, come down to the altar and pray your prayer or else you're gonna hell. Right? What he said, <laugh> was repent for the kingdom of God as at hand. So, um, if we are followers of Jesus, and I know, you know, everybody listening will have different paths and everything, but like, um, hopefully we can, we'll, we'll parse out how this applies to everybody. But, um, I had to look and see what this kingdom was about. And as I read, I realized more and more that this kingdom was about heaven. The kingdom of God is the kingdom of heaven, and heaven is where there are no more tears. The heaven, heaven is where a physical bodies are completely restored, right?
Edi (17:24):
Heaven is where our psyches are cleansed and our truest selves are revealed. And I'm like, oh my goodness, we like the purpose of the kingdom is to bring heaven here. So it's not like, again, we live this crappy life, we're afraid of hell. And then when we die, oh, now our whole ecosystem of faith turns into enjoying abundance. No, like it starts here. And I had, that was the biggest shift for me when I realized like, as a follower of Jesus, I'm a follower of, of the one who is ushering in restoration, restoration between us and ourselves, us and God and us and each other, and also us and the earth. You know? Um, and so I think, I think that is probably the biggest thing, and just a little plug as well, there's this verse that says, um, why does the road to destruction?
Edi (18:14):
But like narrow is the way, and when I've heard it, it's always been like, about sin or misalignment or, you know, doing an action. The verse right before it is the golden rule, love others as you love yourself, my goodness. Like, I feel like we've missed a mark so deeply. This is all about love. You know what I'm saying? And so when I realized that, like that laid the foundation for everything else, um, anything else, I was like, my supreme and utter filter is love is flourishing, you know, is peace, is joy. Like, why would I want to follow someone who's offering anything less? Does that make sense? So yeah, that understanding the what the kingdom was actually about was the biggest step for me. And really, yeah. So just, yeah, understanding at the heart what the spiritual teaching was that I was, uh, um, following, not just parroting other people and taking them at their word. Taking Jesus at his word.
Anna (19:09):
That's so beautiful. I love that. And really simplifies things too.
Edi (19:13):
Yes, it does. And it's such a beautiful way. It, it makes it so easy.
Anna (19:17):
What would you say, like as you work with women and are that safe space for them to process and reckoning with their faith and all of that, like what would you, what areas of their life would you say like are most affected? Is it like their sexuality or relationships or parenting or like when they do get breakthrough, like where are you seeing the biggest areas of freedom? Yes.
Edi (19:37):
Yes. The two biggest areas I would say are, um, on the base level, like sex and money, but like vocation and calling and then their relationship or their partnership. Vocation, definitely. Because when we're, when we're locked in good girl mode, right? We're so afraid of this dream one, we're not even recognizing the dream and the desire and the nudges and winks from God. Um, because we're so closed off to ourselves and we don't trust ourselves. And even if we have that inkling, there's so much fear around what people will say, what people will think, you know, falling out of line of our program. So he, the big thing is like vocation. I have one, um, beautiful sister who, um, after like literally our first session, and this has nothing to do with me, and just her having a safe space. Like she was like, oh, I know what God's called me to do. Like, like, and completely like al it felt like left field, but like, it just that she just needed that space. And so vocation and then relationship, I've seen that big time in my, uh, life. I never, we haven't really talked about this fully <laugh>. Hopefully my husband will be okay, but we were like on the verge of a divorce as well. I, like, I found the apartment and I was like, ready to go. We have two girls. But I had like, thought through everything, planned, everything. Um, but
Edi (20:52):
Luckily my husband was a safe person who was interested in putting in the work and like that baseline, you need that, right? Obviously if they're not there then, you know, and so, but I had constricted myself and uh, man, like when I cracked myself wide open, when God really cracked me wide open and I began speaking and erecting those boundaries and believing and, um, yeah, just giving voice to what was inside and also becoming less rigid at no longer having that inner judgment that was then externalizing in my relationship with him. Like, everything shifted and I realized like, oh my goodness, he was a safe person. You know, there was, there's always things, of course, it's not just one sided. Um, but that for me, uh, was beautiful. And I also more importantly reached a place where I knew that God had m more in store for me. And if this could not work out, um, then that was it. Like I was ready to walk away. Does that make sense? And I actually needed to reach that place and he needed to, to realize that I would reach that place for us to then have the healing and the flourishing we have now. And so I would definitely say, yeah, vocation and relationships, you know, sex and money are the two big things that just become unlocked and just full of freedom, um, as women step into their bliss.
Anna (22:11):
I love that. It's so true. I was thinking about that for me when I was going through some of my transformations and changing some of my beliefs. Yeah. Some of my values, some of like who things that I felt were fundamental to who I was and how I operated. I really had to get to this place of like, okay, God, like I'm gonna be true to you. Be true to me. I'm gonna clean up my side <laugh>, and then the relationships that are meant to be will stick with me. Exactly. Right. I was nervous about like losing my parents' love. I was nervous about like losing some of my best friends, right. But like, when everything was said and done, most of my relationships stuck and they liked me even better. There you go. 'cause I was truer myself, right? Yeah. And so I think it's like we really have to like, put on our blinders and like we, for me, a lot of my codependency was like, it looked like it was generous and kind, but it really wasn't because I was really doing it to manipulate not purposefully Mm-Hmm.
Anna (23:04):
How people saw me or, or to, to create safety for myself instead of really releasing, like letting other people not be robots and having their own emotions and not feeling the way I had to, like monitor them. You know what I mean? So I think it's like if you are in that season of maybe changing who you are, maybe changing your career or Exactly. You know, having more boundaries or using your voice or saying, I don't like that. Or actually I have this desire I've never told anyone about. Yes, at the end of the day, the right people are gonna stick around for you and then the people that aren't, that's okay. And it doesn't mean that it was wrong for what you had, but maybe it's just not a person that's gonna be in your next chapter.
Edi (23:42):
Exactly. Yeah. I love that. That's so true though. That death and rebirth cycle is fortunately, unfortunately such a part of life, but it always, it's always better in that next season. It really, it really is. It really is.
Anna (23:56):
It's like you were saying earlier, like that freedom and bliss, it really is there, but it's on the other side of like deep pain <laugh>. Like actually I, so I was just on a, on a call with someone and someone was like, Anna, you're so happy and so free. And I'm like, yeah, but also, like I do the work and like I cry in the shower and I do therapy where I'm like, yay, you know, sobbing. Like, so I just think that is that duality of like, you know, we make ourselves wrong when we're going through something hard. Like no, it is a part of the processes reckoning with some of those hard things.
Edi (24:29):
I love that. Yeah. The duality. That's so true. Yeah. It, there doesn't have to be judgment on it. It just, it is and it's, and it's working for a good, truly, especially if, if we allow it to. Yeah. Yeah. I love that.
Anna (24:40):
What would you, I love that you said those two topics, sex and money, is that what you said? Sex
Edi (24:44):
And money, yes. <laugh>. Okay.
Anna (24:46):
So give us some tips, like if there's some, let's talk about sex first and the money second. I do feel like faith and let's, if you think about for women, sex and money are two of our biggest sources of happiness, right?
Edi (24:59):
And
Anna (24:59):
Not like them in themselves, but like little portals, right? Yeah. Yep. And I do think like, and even probably see saying that is probably triggering some people, right? Right.
Edi (25:07):
<laugh> being a little bothered. Yeah.
Anna (25:09):
<laugh>. But I really think like, because it's so foundational to our society, right? Yeah. Yeah. Um, but let's talk about sex first. Like first someone that's listening that maybe this is newer topic two, like what are some tips or practical things I can start thinking about or journaling about to heal their relationship with sex?
Edi (25:27):
Yeah, I think that's so beautiful and, and I think, um, there's so many components in sex, and I think one of the fundamental ones is our body. And that's a great place to start. Um, and depending on where you're at with that, it, it begins with even just listening to your body. Um,
Edi (25:45):
There's so much wisdom locked into us and intuition and guidance. And, and that's why I believe, whether intentionally or not, like, especially for women, there are so many harmful teachings out there that disconnect us from our body, disconnect us from our womb space and our, just our intuition. And so one of the biggest things, uh, you can do is, um, yeah, uh, begin listening to your body. Um, and honestly, if you feel your body is even bad, that may be a hard place to start. So I'll say even further back, um, one, getting, having the conversation with yourself about how you even view your body. Um, that's a big thing. I talk about spirit and in truth, like we need to, to truly alchemize something, we need to even understand that it's there. So I highly recommend sitting down, taking some deep breaths, <laugh>, getting comfortable, having un rushed space, and, um,
Edi (26:48):
Asking yourself, you know, if my body was separate from me, a different entity, what would I think about her? Is she like, did my, I just kind of felt that, is it a visceral, like, oh, she's a nasty bee. You know, what is it like she should be hidden somewhere or maybe she's beautiful or she's too much, she's overweight, she takes up too much space. Like, um, you know, uh, she cau she causes meant to sin. Like what if she was somebody else? If your body was somebody else, what would you say about her? What words would you use to describe her? Where do you think she should be in life? Do you think people would like her? And just sometimes it helps to depersonalize and create a separate entity and just begin exploring your relationship with your body and how you feel, what comes up, what visceral responses.
Edi (27:31):
And if you find yourself like fidgeting or you know, oh, I need to check this, I need to check that, that's a sign of your subconscious, that it's trying to protect you and hide you from something that is deeper in there. And so, so, so sit with it, bear with it, uh, come back to it and, and underneath the fidgeting and the icks, like, get to the heart of how you feel. And once that's surfaced, then begins the work of deciding whether or not this is the relationship you want with your body. Um, and if it's not finding the resources to help alchemize that, and if it is nurturing that and feeding that, um, through, uh, yoga, through nourishing foods, you know, through, uh, there's people who are far better experts on this than me, but, you know, those, all those nourishing practices. But yeah, I would say the foundational place to start is fully in, in the depths of you coming face to face with how you view your body, um, as a, a vessel, uh, and as the participant in sex and in, uh, relationship, you know? Um, yeah. Yeah.
Anna (28:34):
That was beautiful
Edi (28:36):
<laugh>.
Anna (28:37):
That was so beautiful. It's true. Right? And it's so interesting that our relationship with sex, our relationship with money really has nothing to do with like, it is Right? Exactly. As we're healing our relationship with sex and money and all the things, we're really healing our relationship with ourself, you know? Yeah. And so I just love that invitation, like to look at, and I love, this is why you work with women one-on-one too, because this very intimidating to do alone. Exactly. Like, as you were saying that some people might be like, oh my God, I could never, right? Mm-Hmm. Yeah. And the cool thing about working with a coach is it's that safe space to explore some of these things that are hard af but on the other side is so much happiness and freedom.
Edi (29:20):
Yes, yes. Exactly. Exactly. That's why I just love, I adore coaching and, and therapy and just the whole transformational space. Like, we have people who are literally like, my life's mission and goal is to just help you move through these things. And I think that's so beautiful. Yes. And I'm not, I love this even before I was a coach, but yes, I totally agree.
Anna (29:39):
Yeah. Okay. Give us one more tip for the body sex piece, and then we'll move to money. Like, if there's someone that's like, yes, I'm realizing I do have shame around my body, or, you know, unloved that makes it hard to be intimate or even just show up in the world, like in my business, or like, what's something else that someone can do to heal that?
Edi (30:00):
Yeah. Um, a big thing that's really helped me was yoga. And uh, and I know that sounds, I don't know, odd maybe or obvious potentially depending on who you are. But, um, I think just, and, and for a lot of us, yoga can feel depending on where your, the the spiritual background you're coming from, yoga can feel a little, little witchy. Edgy.
Anna (30:24):
Edgy. Oh yeah. I was not allowed to do yoga growing up. Absolutely.
Edi (30:26):
No, exactly. Absolutely not.
Anna (30:27):
Now I teach it. So <laugh>, sorry.
Edi (30:30):
Right? Like it, but it is just, it is so grounding and, um, so I, I just encourage you to think about this. What makes something, um, okay, yoga. So all of us have probably done yoga moves in our lives. If you've done sports or anything, the stretches you do are all yoga moves. Okay? Yoga can be a deeply spiritual practice if you make it just like, um, you can read anything and make it a spiritual practice, right? So if you don't want yoga to be a spiritual thing for you, just YouTube functional yoga, and there are many beautiful ways to connect with your body without any namas days or ohms, if that makes you feel uncomfortable. Um, but yeah, I just highly recommend just looking into yoga, just, um, setting aside for a minute, the fear, the anxiety, and, and also just trust that, um, God has got you right.
Edi (31:24):
A lot of, a lot of times behind some of these practices, uh, the fear of these practices is, well, well, fear, but also, um, like a, a fundamental belief that God is not big enough to help you stay aligned and on the path you need to go. Like he's got you. Okay? So if you're not supposed to do yoga, you may do it and be like, I don't need to do that again, and you'll be okay. Right? Uh, it's hard because some the, you have to foundationally believe in, in, in, in the love. Right? Um, but anyways, yoga, I would say, I'm going off tangent, but yoga I think is a great, great one to just connect with your body just to do gentle movements, not anything that's aggressive and building muscle and stuff. Just being with yourself and just watch, just do it a few times a week for a couple weeks and just see how that changes your life, truly.
Anna (32:09):
I love that. So, and very practical, right? I think for me, like as I look to women that are, you know, ahead of me and whatever thing, like sometimes just, even if you don't quite understand it, just like try their tip <laugh>, right? Even if you're like, I don't understand why that would work. Or like, okay, I could try yoga. Right? And just like, sometimes we have to just take some of the action to see. Yeah. I think sometimes we feel like we have to completely understand something. I know that's before we hop on board, instead of like, no, maybe I just wanna try start taking action and that can like kind of rewire some of my beliefs in the process. Right?
Edi (32:43):
Yeah. That's perfect. Exactly. That's beautiful. Yeah.
Anna (32:46):
Okay, let's talk about money. What, like, what blocks do you find that women have spiritual women have around money? Oof. Yeah. And then we can talk about some practical stuff too.
Edi (32:59):
Money. Money, money. This may for a lot of pe this may be even more insidious than sex. I don't know. It's hard. Um, but I, I, that's what
Anna (33:07):
We're here for. That's what we're here for. <laugh>. I'm not a very controversial person. So like,
Edi (33:11):
This looks controversial. Let's
Anna (33:13):
Do it. Bring it.
Edi (33:15):
I love it. Oh, I love it. I love it. Um, so the love of money is the root of all evil has given so many people angst one, because so many people misquote it and say, money is the root of all evil. Um, but let's, let's, so I just wanna do a thought exercise first that I want to present to you. And so this will be my first tip. Sit with this and think about it. If you are listening to this, you wanna make the world a better place, I can guarantee that, right? What does it require to make the world a better place? What do you need for people to have more food? What do you need for more people to be able to access clean water, to be able to access, uh, um, job preparation skills, to be able to access, um, uh, healthier foods in food deserts?
Edi (34:05):
Time and money, right? And these resources. And so what we need to remember is that, um, you need money to have an impact. I know it sounds rough and controversial, but if you have $1 and you have a billion dollars and you want to feed people, which one is gonna get you further? Now, I believe in a miracle working God, but the fact remains that you need money. And so I think a big thing is just framing the whole concept of money as a tool for better. We oftentimes see how people are exploited for money, but remembering and sitting with, and really just like letting it sink into us. Like envision that thing that you wanna do, that that thing that just rankles you and you don't want to be an issue on this planet anymore. And just imagine, like, imagine you solving it and imagine who you are in that state and imagine, um, um, the resources around you which include money, like, like link money to the positive altruistic things that you're bringing in this world.
Edi (35:18):
Like, imagine like, like Anna's beautiful dream home, which I love for you. Like imagine that next stage of your life and link money to it because it is entwined and, and begin to connect, decouple money from exploitation, decouple money from aggression and violence, and couple it with these very noble, these very beautiful, these very blissful things that you're doing. And hopefully as you begin to do that, your lens for life will also change. And you'll realize that people are using money for good in a lot of ways. It's easy to see the negative ways, but like money is the driving force for society in a lot of ways. And people are using it for good in beautiful things. And like, once your lens changes, then you're like, oh my gosh, why would I not get this tool? It's like getting another coaching certification that you really want. Like, oh, I want a somatic certification. Why would I not get more money if I can get more money? And by, by helping people, by living in my passion, and then being able to turn that around and make the world a better place, you know? Um, so that was kind of all bunch of different pieces, but sitting with some of those thoughts and really creating, adding that into your practice of just sitting with money as a positive tool, I think is a huge one for sure.
Anna (36:25):
That's beautiful. I just listened to you talk all day. Um, I agree. Like, I do think like, well 'cause coming up for me, as you were saying that is I think money is just the portal for whatever is on our heart. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. So if we're like wanting to do ill in the world, our money will amplify that. Yeah. Good. Right? That's
Edi (36:42):
Good. Right?
Anna (36:43):
If we're wanting to do good in the world, our money will amplify that. And I just think like, it's really sad that good heart centered people don't wanna have money because that one just amplify the good, you know what I mean? Like the bad people have no problem making money and spending like they have no problem over there. Right?
Edi (37:00):
Right. So
Anna (37:01):
I just think it's like, yeah, like really, and people always say like, money doesn't buy happiness, but you know what money does buy, like money, buy security and stability. And like, I bought this house next to my parents so that I can spend the next decade growing up. I mean, having my kids grow up next to their grandparents, right? Like it really does buy freedom and stability and safety and you know, for me, like being able to leave an unsafe situation, and again, it's like not about the money, but it is what about the money can buy you and it's safe. For me, it really came to like, I'm worthy of having stability, of having security, of having the resources right. To take care of not just others. I think before exactly. I was so concerned about taking care of others, but I'm like, I don't even, I'm not even taking care of myself like, right.
Anna (37:54):
Yep. We're like worried about giving to our church, which is great. Yep. But like, you have 10,000 credit cards, right? Like, yes. I think it's, for me, I had this point where I was like, okay, I need to build up my savings account Yes. Before I keep giving to other women, right? Yeah. Like, I need to stop worrying about charities and worry about like my kids. And like then once we're set, how can I be generous? Right? Yes. And from an energy of true generosity and not like I'm gonna give to make myself feel better. Right? Right. Yeah.
Edi (38:24):
So
Anna (38:25):
Could talk about money all day.
Edi (38:26):
Yes. And I love that the conversation we definitely need to have. Like yes, that is definitely the whole idea of like, I'm blessed to bless others. Yeah. We you saw that, but <laugh>, that post I made about it, like, no, you're blessed, period. And out of that overflow you're able to bless others and you're able to do all the extra stuff, but it starts with you. Right. And that's so true. Some, we oftentimes can leave ourselves outta the equation. Like, yes, everybody should be blissful and joyful and have abundance. Except for me, I should just dry myself, like run myself ragged and be drained dry trying to give that to everybody else. But like, if you believe that every human should have that, then you are included. And the best thing you can do is to operate from that place and from that position, like you said. So then it's not reluctantly or under compulsion, but cheerfully and out of the overflow. And so yeah. I love that. And I love that you're talking about money in that ebook that you released, I believe about your savings blitz. Like I love that. Yes. Yes.
Anna (39:22):
Um, I tell us more. I saw the Instagram post, I loved it, but that was such a truth bomb. Tell us about it in case people missed it.
Edi (39:29):
Sure. Yes, yes, yes. Oh, yes, sorry. Um, so the post was essentially like just different phrases that I've heard, like, um, yeah, the biggest one, I'm blessed to bless others, but I crossed out to bless others. And so like, yeah, like, I don't remember exactly the ones, but like, I'm free to free others. No, I'm like, I'm free. And especially for a woman, um, like from a Christian tradition, uh, we hear that so often. Like I've even heard people say like, God created us to draw others to him. And I'm like, that's weird. Like, that's circular reasoning. Like that doesn't even make sense. Like why would, like, whatever, I'm not about to get into philosophy, but <laugh>, but just, but we believed it bow, we believed it. Right? Exactly. And when you operate from that place, it's like this, um, you're operating, I don't want all the, all the terms that they use to describe this are kind of offensive.
Edi (40:18):
So I'm trying to think of like, but like from the, like second place from like the outcast, like almost like an outcasted child. Like your purpose is to you, you were created to be a resource for others only. And like that is such a lie and just holds us back from so much, you know? Um, 'cause if we don't, if we believe that, then who are we to pursue bliss and joy? Like our, our, if our purpose is to just give and give and give, and so one of the things like yes, um, in the kingdom, like all the joy that is talked about, all the restoration first comes to you, and then from that place of healing and restoration, you're then able to give, like, you can't give what you don't have. And I think there's this kind of this weird interplay with faith and miracles where like, I am burnt out, I'm angry, I'm resentful, and my nervous system's erect, my thyroid's erect, but somehow I'm supposed to be able to help other people heal themselves, help other people, you know, create wealth and create stability.
Edi (41:13):
Like nobody like you. It like, it's an embodied faith. It's an embodied spirituality, which means we're not just gurus talking about it. Like we have to embody it and bring it into the world through our lives. Like not just teaching, not just talking, but like living it. Like, so people see Anna and they're like, you're so joyful. Like, what is it? And you're able to talk about this beautiful, rich, um, spirituality and inner world and just life you've cultivated, you know? And, um, yeah. It it's just so different from being like, do this thing, but like, my life's in shambles. So anyways, yeah. It, it again, it is about spirit and truth. Like, does this make sense? Is this true? Is this aligned? I'm saying these words, but is my life aligned? It's not just about parroting it again, but like living it from just the core of who you are. Yeah.
Anna (42:00):
So, beautiful. Okay. If someone's listening to this and is thinking about exploring these topics more. Yeah. If someone wanted to work with you, tell us what that looks like and like what they can expect because maybe someone has never Yeah. Talked about maybe someone's never done coaching or therapy or talked about these topics with someone, but is kind of feeling this intuitive nudge in their heart or Mm-Hmm. They're resonating with you. Maybe tell them like what, just to demystify it a little bit, like what they can expect in a coaching session with you and like what that looks like practically.
Edi (42:32):
Definitely. And I will say the, probably the easiest way to ease in, I created a 45 minute transmission just for this. Um, that is the Good Girls Guide to Stepping Into Your Bliss. And so it's just 40 minutes of talking about some of these foundational beliefs to unravel and really laying it out step by step so that you can go back and study and, and let it sink in and see what you wanna accept. And then giving you just a really basic process for beginning to, um, understand how you view yourself in light of how you think God views you, and then how to start alchemizing that towards flourishing. So that's definitely where I recommend anybody goes and I'm sure we can include the information, if that's okay. Yeah. Um, but then <laugh> in a session, um, I just love it. It, um, so our times are just a combo of coaching and spiritual direction, so like listening and somatic work.
Edi (43:24):
And so the biggest things that I will say that, uh, are consistent across all coaching sessions is getting grounded, getting present with however that feels, um, for people who are just starting out, and especially people who are not comfortable with the breath work and the, you know, the body centric practices. Just some deep breaths and then going right into, um, understanding how you view yourself. And this is what I call identity alchemy. Um, really intuiting how you're showing up in the world, not how you think other people view you or how you think you should view yourself, but like how you really do show up in the world. And then understanding and sensing into where you feel like you're being drawn. And then alchemizing through mindset work through, um, like prayer and like energy work and through somatic practices alchemizing the distance in between the two, like alchemizing the fear and the, um, yeah, just the, the frustrations and the concerns in that liminal space. So I feel like I use <laugh> a lot of buzzwords, but the big, the big thing to know is that you were guided and held in that time and, um, the space is wide, expansive and warm, um, for people to just come and share their hearts and for us to go at their pace and to begin untangling and unwinding so that they can return to their truest selves.
Anna (44:44):
I love that. And it's so clear that like you are coach that shows up with intention, right? That like you have a plan for the session, like you Yes,
Edi (44:51):
Yes, yes.
Anna (44:51):
And you have that structure. And I think when some people can hear that, it can be a little bit like, oh, then I have to prepare or be ready. But like what I hear is like, no, like you, you have it handled, so all they have to do is show up and you really have this intentional plan and strategy for that session. And I think like what a beautiful gift, especially when you're grappling with something that's as messy as spirituality.
Edi (45:13):
Yeah, definitely. Yes, yes. Big time. I'm, I got you. I hold the structure. Yes.
Anna (45:18):
I love that. Okay. Tell us a little bit more about that first guide.
Edi (45:21):
Yeah. And
Anna (45:22):
Then, um, anything else you wanna share about your work or people could, and make sure you talk about your Instagram, because you just drop bomb content on there all the time. <laugh>, I'm like, yes. Literally out loud. My kids are like, what are you talking about, mom? I'm,
Edi (45:36):
I love it. Thank you so much. Yes. Um, the Good Girls Guide, the Recovering Good Girls Guide to Stepping Into Your Bliss. Um, yeah, so this is really kind of that like one-on-one course for somebody who is feeling that like internal pressure of like, I just can't keep living this life anymore, but I don't know what next steps I need to take or like, what is causing this? So the, the 40 minutes of listening, just easy listening and it's, well, I say easy listening, it's a little heavy, but it's good, it's good, it's good. <laugh>, I use my soft and soothing voice. Um, but it's really just examining some of these things that we talked about, um, some of these beliefs that we hold and really examining them truly in light of what Jesus actually said about his kingdom laying the foundation, um, for your bliss.
Edi (46:24):
Because as women of faith, you know, if it, if that piece is not there, um, there's gonna be that cognitive dissonance, right? So helping you resolve some of that and begin to understand this tension within, and then from that, giving you some basic building blocks to be able to start stepping into your bliss to be able to recognize where you are now, where a God may be leading you, and how you can bridge that gap. Um, and it's, yeah, and it is like we, kind of, the exercise we did earlier, it's something that you can do on your own. You can get really far on your own. You may be able to get as far as you need to on your own, but it's also a great segue, um, if you do need that additional coaching, like you've, then you've, you've experienced the process, I guess, and you have the foundational mindsets, and so you just need, um, then at that point maybe somebody to plug in and hold that space and ask those questions. So I've created that wi with, I've created it with that in mind that you can do it yourself if you want. Um, but if you need the assistance, like I can jump right in for you. So, yeah.
Anna (47:24):
That's beautiful. I love that. And a way to play with coaching. If coaching feels like, ah, I'm not quite ready yet. Right, exactly. But you can, they can play with that. And if they're like, oh my gosh, this is great, but also I need more help, right? Yeah, exactly. Then they can hire you for more personal coaching.
Edi (47:39):
Yeah, exactly. And maybe whoever, whatever coach resonates with you, but yes, yes, of course, I'm always here and hopeful to meet more amazing women. So yeah.
Anna (47:49):
And then tell us about your Instagram or anywhere else we can find you online.
Edi (47:54):
Yeah, so Instagram is my main jam. I love it. Um, but I am at the Identity Alchemist, um, exactly how it sounds, identity, the identity alchemist, and, um, yeah, I just have fun on there. Um, yeah, sometimes I get a little spicy comments get, get fun. Um, and I feel like I'm getting spicier as the weeks go by, but I'm
Anna (48:14):
Here for it. Yeah. <laugh>, I'm here for it. I'm here for it. <laugh>.
Edi (48:17):
Yes. Yes. It needs to be
Anna (48:19):
Said. It needs to be said. It
Edi (48:21):
Does. I'm like, nobody's gonna, okay, I'll do it. So
Anna (48:23):
No, it has to say it,
Edi (48:25):
Right? Yes. So everybody who follows, I love, um, just sending a message saying hello, so, and getting the conversation going. So if we connect there, I would love to chat and truly like making like, you're so good at this, Anna, like truly making social media community and not just like, oh, I have another follower, but like, this is another person who's entered my environment. So yeah, I just love connecting on Insta and hearing whatever you're going through.
Anna (48:49):
That's so beautiful. Any closing words or prayers or anything you'd like to leave our listeners with?
Edi (48:58):
I I just want the listeners to know that you can trust yourself, and I'm so sorry for anyone, any situation that has made you think you can't and made you think that it's wrong to trust yourself, but as the receiving end of God's voice, as the, the, the radio tower picking up his signal, you must learn to trust yourself to fully trust God. Just like you would not trust, you wouldn't trust, even if water, the water poured in is pure, if the cup is dirty, you would not trust the water. So even if God's voice, even if you say you trust God's voice, if you cannot trust the vessel that he chooses to manifest himself in, which is you, your body, your temple, your, your psyche, your intuition, if you can't trust it, then you can't trust God fully. And so not in a you're doing it wrong, but I want you to know that yes, that that nudge within you that is saying, I need more. Like I just, I think this, I think X, y, Z like listen to it and you can trust yourself. Um, and it's so key to trust yourself. So that's the thing I would leave with our listeners,
Anna (50:12):
That's all just a life-changing truth bomb <laugh>. It's so good. I mean, yes, for me, as I've done like, you know, so much therapy and all of that, like literally I ended all of that with like, I can trust myself as like my ultimate affirmation. So I would say like, again, another great shortcut, and that's why working with a coach like you is such a shortcut to a lot of this work, you know? Um, and just could not agree more. So grateful for, I know what you do is, I mean, I know it's your business too, but I can really tell that it's something more, it's your passion. Yes, it's your ministry, definitely. It's your heart, it's your life purpose. It's, and I just wanna say thank you because I just think it takes brave pastoral women to step up. And it's not easy to say the thing on Instagram and be like, okay, some white guy's gonna be offended by this, right? Like, it's not easy, you know what I mean? But for you to step up and be faithful to the calling, but also I just wanna thank you on behalf of all the women for being our pastor, for being our leader and being faithful in those moments where it's not easy, where it is a sacrifice and it is, you know, giving of your heart and your service and your gifts. Just thank you.
Edi (51:23):
Thank you so much, Anna. Like you have no idea how much that means. Thank you. It's my pleasure, truly. Thank you. Yes.
Anna (51:30):
If this resonated with you, we would love to hear from you on Instagram. Tag us in stories. Tell us if there was any breakthroughs you had, any highlights. If you just wanna continue this conversation, we are here for you. We wanna listen. We wanna be your sisters, and just say that it's safe to have this journey and be your community as you're unpacking all of this.
Edi (51:52):
Definitely. Yes. Thank you so much. Thank you.
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